I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize