I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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