Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize