Three words: puerto rican gang bang
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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