I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
