currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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