Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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