apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
