i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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