i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize