I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
