new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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