Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
