He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
