he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
