Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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