3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize