I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
