We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's never too late to be topless.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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