too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
