im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
That's how pantless uber rides happen
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
