Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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