i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize