I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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