Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
50% drunk capacity currently
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
