i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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