How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
