I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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