Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
