he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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