Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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