Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She bit a glass in half.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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