why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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