bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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