Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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