i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
