Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize