Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
