Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
