Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
