so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
