Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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