I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
