I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
3pm strippers are depressing
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
