If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize