look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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