come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
its not stalking. its research.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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