I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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