Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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