dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
