Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize