after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
