He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just gift wrapped bread.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
