Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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