i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize