I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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