Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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