my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
